Settling

I appreciate the concept of settling, in the context of 'Never settle for less than you deserve'.  However, I find that this is NOT a statement to live your life by, without first having some reasonable expectations on what you want out of life.  These Olympic ads always tell you to 'Reach for the stars!' and that is all fine and good in some situations, but has no bearing whatsoever on something like relationships.  I know too many people who try to offer this as real advice, and it's complete bullshit; counterproductive to a person trying to get through a tough time, often times just setting them up for future failures.

First of all, how does 'Reach for the stars' apply to people?  Do you think Jennifer Aniston would have anything in common with you, you stupid fuck?  What makes her a better person than anyone else, anywhere?  She's rich, and hot, and those are 2 things that you are most likely not, and VERY important selling points, I might add.

Second, why do you think someone is going to do something for you that you would not do for them?  Be reasonable about your expectations of others... follow the Golden-fucking-Rule, treat others the way you want to be treated.  See yourself in this persons shoes, even for a  minute, especially in any situation in which you do not understand their motivation.  What could be causing this person to act this way?  If it is someone that you are willing to say that you love, then WHY isn't this number one on your Shit-to-do list?  How can you possibly even use the word love if you are unable or unwilling to consider things from their point of view?

This isn't about selling yourself short, or conceding arguments, or giving up your life for another person... this is about understanding.  Understanding is love.  If you take the time to think, "Ok, he is upset, he is telling me that his balls are sticking to the side of his leg and he doesn't know what to do.  Get him some powder, and stop laughing,"  then you will be in that other persons head, just for that short time, and can resolve a problem.  The ONLY expectation you should have in a relationship, is understanding.  Saying anything else is just pure nonsense and self serving bullshit, that will inevitably lead you to more misery.  Saying 'I want a woman who can suck a good dick and slap together a helluva ham sandwich' or 'I want a man that tells the truth and treats me like a lady and lets me spend up all his money' is egotism.  It simply means that you have not taken the time or have the inclination to serve others through understanding.  You are the selfish one, without even considering your partners selfishness.  You have taken that prize.  Your partner can be an A-1 selfish prick, but if you haven't given the energy required to even fathom WHY they are a selfish dick-bag, then you can count yourself in to that same realm and be done with it.

Settling, as a concept, is a lie.  Understanding is what is needed, and it starts with you. Do not 'settle' for someone who does not make an attempt at understanding you, as this is a person incapable of real, honest, love.  How do you get there?  Fuck if I know, I just start with the understanding, and go from there.



The Angry Man