Importance

I'm a big NPR junkie... really, I'm an 'anything that is on TV or Radio right now' junkie.  I watch Kathy Lee and Hoda on most mornings, for about 10 minutes, because that is what is on the TV in the Gym at work when I am on the treadmill.  If that doesn't happen to be on, I watch whatever else the last person had on the TV when using that particular treadmill, but most days, its KLG and Hoda.  I couldn't tell you from one day to the next what they were talking about, but during my morning walk, its fucking interesting as hell. 

I was listening to NPR on the way home today, and there was this bit about some guy in some fucking state with big lakes in it, and he was going on about how the lakes are being polluted, that Asian Carp are gang raping all the regular carp with their tiny rice dicks, that there needs to be more laws to protect the lakes from stuff, and that this issue is of SUPREME IMPORTANCE to the nation, and should be prioritized by the candidates.  I thought, "Why the fuck is this issue important to the nation?  What in the fuck does it have to do with me, in Ohio?  Who the fuck cares about Asian Carp buggery?  Other than the American Carp..."  Then that made me think what me thinking all of this has to do with me directly.

This guy was talking as if this was the MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world.  And to him, it probably is.  His world consists of these lakes.  His daily routine is determined by the state of these waters and the surrounding area.  This man's universe consists of that spot, and his 15 minutes of fame telling about it on NPR.  There is nothing in my entire life that I could say defined me, like those lakes do for that man.

But then I think, how shallow is that?  How shallow is it of me to think that someone else's entire existence can be defined so simply?  Was he simply saying that these lakes are of supreme importance, to try and garner support for his cause?  Yes.  Yes he was.  In order for his cause to grow and be respected, he needed to speak with such passion and douchebaggery to try and convince other people that what HE is involved in is important to everyone.  Even though it is plain that anyone who does not live in the immediate vicinity of this lake will never EVER be affected by anything that happens here.  It is his job, his agenda, to see to it that people respect what is going on inside his tiny little world. This man was speaking so aggressively about the importance of his water way, suggesting that the government needs to drop everything else to support this one area of the country.  Congress, will you stop sending support to oppressed nations, feeding and clothing your people, arranging for satisfactory health care, supporting your elderly, defending your borders... to keep my fish from being cornholed?  Pretty please?

The point here is not to shit on this one guy, but the fact that, to him, it was the most important thing in the world.  I do not have a 'most important thing' in my world.  As in, I may have an opinion on the lakes, but so does he, and his opinion is every bit as valid as mine.  I have an opinion on the President, or health care or abortion or gun control or the Jersey Shore or capital punishment or if Miller Light is good because it does in fact Taste Great or is it because it is Less Filling... and my opinion on any of these things is equally as valid as anyone else's opinion on these things.  I do not consider myself an expert in anything at all... and things that I might be an expert in (Nose picking and masturbation) I have no illusions that I know everything there is to know about them.  I only know what I have experienced during my lifetime, and your experiences are guarenteed to be different than mine. 

There are things that are important to me, and things that are not important to me, such as these lakes.  Does that mean that these lakes are not worthy of attention?  This is where I bring up Hitler again, and the fact that there were thousands of people who agreed with his mindset and his policies.  He did not single handedly murder 6 million Jews... he had a posse of like minded gangsters up in this piece, he had Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan, also with hordes of like-minded people in their wake.  Hitler was good at talking people in to his way of thinking.  So was Mussolini and Pol Pot and Kim Jong Il and Obama and Romney and George Clooney and Merril Streep and Sheriff Arpaio and Jerry Sandusky and the Westboro Baptist Church and Bill Nye and Professor X and Magneto and Rasputin... All of these people have that one thing in common; the ability to convert others to their way of thinking.  Who is right?

I am not dedicated to anything in my life.  I go to work, I take care of my kids, I pay my bills, I attend to my family and friends, and in most cases, I just exist... I am not trying to convince anyone of my good nature, my beliefs, my causes, my abilities, because I have no nature, no beliefs, no causes, no abilities.  I just am.  Is that such a bad thing?



The Angry Man

Personality

I went to a horror convention this weekend.  It fucking RULED.  No questions, no lies, it was an excellent time with one of my best friends.  One particular event happened during this weekend that bothered me from the moment it happened until I got home.  Edward Fucking Furlong. 

The big thing at these conventions is that you get a meet-and-greet with many stars from movies.  Being a horror convention, much of the participants were people that you probably do not recognize without a face full of bloody chunks or a mask or some shit.  A bunch of the crew from the Terminator franchise (Minus Ah-nold, unfortunately) and the Alien franchise (Minus Sigourney Weaver, because she actually still has a job) and some other folks from other horror stuff.  Linda Hamilton, The blonde chick from the newest Terminator movie, The guy who plays Boggs from Shawshank Redemption, The guy who plays the Android from Aliens, Vazques from Aliens, The Black Dude from Devils Rejects... Fuckin' Elvira... and it was like 20-30 bucks to buy an autograph and take a picture and get a handshake.  And then we come to Edward Fucking Furlong.

This is the kid from Terminator 2, Brainscan, American History X, and... well, basically nothing else, but if you IMDb him, he's got shit coming out currently, and has been working consistently for years.  He's around 35 now, and the reason I call him Edward Fucking Furlong is that he's a complete dickbag.  He looks like a burnout, and he's got the personality of a roast beef sandwich.  He looked completely baked, was gnawing on one of the plastic fake cigarettes, and when people would come up to him, he couldn't even look in their eyes or even fucking smile!  If you are at a convention and have the balls to charge people thirty goddamn dollars for the PRIVELEDGE of shaking your hand and taking a crappy cellphone picture and stand next to you for 15 seconds, you damn well better be a cheery mother fucker. 

Every single other star we visited was tickled to death that we wanted to meet them and say Hi.  Linda Hamilton was a sweetheart, I got to hug all up on some Elvira cleavage, Boggs from Shawshank was happy as shit that I just came and shook his hand and said I appreciated his work... didn't even buy anything from him, and he's still working his ass off and doesn't need the money, but he does it anyway.  We passed Furlong in the halls at the hotel a couple of times, and I greeted him every time with a 'Good evening, Mr. Fulong,' and all he did was glance back and say 'Hey, how's it going' and keep walking.  Fucker.

Now, here is what pisses me off.  Edward Fucking Furlong has a career in entertainment, basically playing himself: A moody, self obsessed, emo-kid.  How does a guy with a natural personality like that keep getting work in entertainment?  I couldn't get a job at a fucking casino in the back goddamn room because I'm not friendly enough, how does this butt-punching shit slug get jobs as a fucking entertainer?  He must have an AMAZING fucking agent with some balls out killer PR skills, because this fucking dude sure as stink on shit isn't landing his own roles.  He is still riding the coat tails of Terminator and American History X fame, which, lets be honest here, are not good movies because Edward Fucking Furlong is in them.  Terminator has Ah-nold and Linda Hamilton and that creepy fucking dude that plays T-1000, and American History X has Edward Norton and Randy Hickey from My Name Is Earl awesome-ing up the place.  Very sad to see him like that; before we even got there, I said "Edward Furlong is the one that I want to meet, cuz I fuckin' like that guy and the movies he's in."  And, he was a colossal disappointment.  What a turd. 

On a side note, I also learned that I can be pretty entertaining myself, but only in a situation where I don't give a fuck if anyone else is entertained.  I do shit that makes ME laugh, and sometimes other people laugh with me.  It only works if I do it for myself though, like this blog... as soon as I try to entertain someone else, it all collapses.  I should learn to market that.  Or not.  Fuck you.



Edward Fucking Furlong......



The Angry Man

Body

How long do you think it should take to learn to work your own body?  I am thirty-fucking-something years old, and I still get sick every damn fall.  And, I know why.  And, I take my medicine like I am supposed to... and it STILL happens.

I spend so much time inside myself.  In fact, almost ALL of my time is spent, withing my body.  That's a lot!  You'd think I'd have a better understanding of how this crotchety, snotty, gangly, slowly rotting thing would work, and would have learned how to prevent some of this shit.  Nope!  Not a bit!  Especially my brain.  I suspect that if I could learn to control just the 8 or so pounds of gristle in my skull, I'd have a much better time of things.  And I KNOW how to do that... I just don't.

It comes back to 'Identify and Resolve'.  If I could robotically perform tasks, day in and day out, then the only problems I would have would be mechanical malfunctions.  Arms stop working, back spasms, balls get tweaked in my pant leg, the occasional hemorrhoid... (Hey, I was only 1 letter off when Googling that one... ad THAT to the amazing list of Things I've Googled Recently).  But, my brain will not let me do that.  It gets BORED.  It likes to invent things.  It likes to muse over past events.  It likes to travel to far off lands, and then come back and say 'Gee, that was fun.  What's next?'

I have a very strong mind, but it is not fast.  It is a good thinker, and it takes a little time to get it going, but once it gets going it is hell getting it to stop.  My mind is like a '67 Monte Carlo... 0-60 in like 11 days, but once it hits Freeway speeds it performs beautifully.  Until you need to hit the offramp, you are FUCKED.  The drive shaft starts rattling, the steering wheel vibrates wildly, the breaks lock the wheels up instantly so you have to pump them even in dry conditions... and if you are lucky, you won't end up in the ditch, or 40 miles past your exit where you needed to be.  That is my mind. 

This is a song that sort of goes with this... Enjoy!



Haven't written anything in a few days, been doing well just busy.  All good stuff this time!



The Angry Man